A TELE- PATHETIC COP

 It was 2am and only one pub is found to be open in the city, the Rolls Vice Pub. I completed my night shift as janitor in the nearby City Hospital and was freaked out by clearing the guts and blood of this recent patient who was shot! Can’t help it, these scenes I get to see every now and then.. what a bloody world and moreover, what a bloodlust in these bastards! Only a drink sounds fine after this mess!

 

I ordered my usual scotch on the rocks and an omelette. Jane the bartender is familiar with me and quite flirty at this hour. Recently broke up and her sex hormones are craving for some dick, don’t know where she needs it, but I guess either way is fine with her. I don’t got a condom and I don’t wanna catch gonorrhoea from that rotten Jane else the bathroom at the back could have been my cardio session that night! L

 

Anyways.. theres one or the other thing about me too that I know too much about what Jane was thinking.. I know stuff, lots of stuff! When I told everyone in the class back in 5^th grade that I can read their thoughts, I was forced to see a psychologist then a psychiatrist but fuck em! All I know is I can and that day in the pub proved it right, well I had known for long but this incident proved many things at a National security level if you know!

 

So two tall well built broad guys sitting at the back booth of the pub, sharply maintaining eye contact, chugging their bourbons and licking their cocaine… talking in whispery sounds like those motherfuckers know that I could still listen! Well listen to their thoughts or whatever.. “Hey Jane pour another round.. this night is splendid! No i don’t wanna come in your pants, its some high level shit bout a nuclear bomb being dropped by the russian armed forces today 4am.. go wipe that bar counter cuz I’m not gonna wipe your black pussy..!” Said I in my thoughts, but who could read..!!

 

Yes yes, I know I’m a rabid dog, mildly racist, egoistic and lustful sexist and that’s why I like calling myself Tele-Pathetic and not Pethic!

 

Anyhow.. moral of the story.. two russian guys about to bomb the states in ETA 2 hrs and the splendid part of it lies in the fact that without them two big russian dicks, their armed forces wont receive their comms signal.. and all I gotta do is kill em! What were you expecting? A decent janitor going to a daily job living a hell of a life… nope.. lm that pathetic psycho.. and maybe an underdog anti hero like the suicide squad.. ohh wait copyright issue.. gonna hit backspace here..!!

 

Then after licking her black… no wait I’m literally drunk! Yeah.. so after hearing their thoughts I started the engine of my car and rushed at the speed of 150 km/hr.. rushing to get that black p.. no wait, rushing to get caught and pulled over by any dick cop in town! I got pulled over and rolled my window down and played some games with the cop… I gave him my number and said to call me anytime and i’ll bring the condoms… no wait.. too gay! Okay so, truthfully, I read his thoughts and counter attacked him psychologically like when he was thinking about reaching home after his night shift to make it till the time his daughter leaves for school so he could see her before his divorced ex wife takes her with her for the whole week as per their custody agreement, I counter tricked him playing with words like “Got a daughter waiting at home huh?” He lowers his guard. “Little stacy will be gone with her mommy for the whole week then?”. He started crying. “Stacy will be taken away from Daddy…?”. He jitters and shakes, I slammed my car door on him and took his gun and shot him! Wore his uniform and photoshopped the badge, changed the police database to coincide with my portfolio, thanks to taking that hacking course in my pathetic days back!

 

Well earlier I was pathetic, but now I was A Tele-Pathetic Cop!

 

I traced those russian dicks to their motel and shot them at 3:30 am. Watched some tv in their motel rooms waiting for their comm radio to receive a signal from their nuclear armed forced and when it did, I said the words to their general “Y’all got me so heated up.. Man I’m going to fuck Jane, bye and the plan is off and wait tell Putin to send some personal nice titty Russian whores to me, these Russian agency escorts here are too infectious... and yeah tell him I’m the Tele-Pathet— whatever… fuck off!”